HAPPY WORDS: You did a great job improving on this piece and I respect you for taking the harsh critique from the first draft to make this even better. It not only shows maturity as an artist, but it does service to the character you are portraying!The water looks better, now that the space is broken up, and the larger range of shades for the buildings makes this a LOT nicer! I'm really glad you were open to improving on this piece because it looks great!
VISION: I'm giving 4 stars for vision because your color palette, line work, and lighting show what you were going for and what you wanted to convey. This is not a common scene for people to draw because of the complexity, but I'm glad you were brave enough to take it on.
ORIGINALITY: I'm giving 3.5 stars for originality because this is not a scene that I usually see people paint, and even if they did, they probably would not have put the same amount of effort into the cityscape below.
TECHNIQUE: I gave 3 stars for technique because you certainly stepped things up and improved your method. I'm glad you took some of the previous critique into consideration because you amped this piece up considerably. However, I'm still sensing that you used some sort of pattern fill for the water, mainly because the pattern suddenly distorts under the sun's reflection. If you DIDN'T use a pattern fill, #1) wow, you got some skill, and #2) look at references for water. There's a lot of beautiful light techniques that you can use to play the sun across the water's surface.
IMPACT: Finally, I am assigning 3 stars for impact. The color palette helps increase impact, and the scene you set up--sunset across the water of a city guarded by a mysterious figure-- is indeed a neat, powerful concept. However, I am not giving 5 stars because you could have maximized the impact by giving more time and effort to improve that water and sunset.